We are always confused because of the first date, worried about what to wear, what to say to impress the other side. After dating for a while, we don’t know what to do to keep the relationship healthy. Not only humans, love is always a difficult problem for any species.
Sometimes we need to look to the love language of animals to solve our own problems. The following love secret was revealed by Jennifer Verdolin, PhD in the study of the nature and appearance of social behavior and mating in the animal kingdom.
Rule one: try not to let the wound fester
Rejection is always painful and difficult. You like someone so much that you mustered up the courage to tell them, expecting a sweet response but the truth is not always pleasant.
If cupid refuses to match you two, remember: it happens very often and animals learn to accept it. Satin bowerbird males, aka bluebirds, go through a lot of rejection.
They go to great lengths to impress their mate: build a gorgeous archway, decorate it, then jump back and forth through the tunnel. Hope she notices but the success rate is always less than 1%.
It’s important that you take some time to lick your wound so you don’t go around and hurt others. Then shake it off like a male bluebird and keep trying to jump your way into other people’s hearts.
The female birds do not feel guilty about their behavior, they clearly communicate with each other and agree with the decision. There is no room for ambiguity or half-heartedness here.
The reason for the refusal is not personal, everyone is trying to find an object that is most suitable for them. If you’re not the best of them, they won’t be yours.
Rule two: Slow down
Intense attraction, alcohol levels, hot flashes, hormones flooding the body are all signs when we are physically attracted to someone. But, in the end, attraction is just attraction, it’s not the feeling that brings about a long-term relationship.
If all those expressions do not lead to the final destination of marriage, then what is it for? It depends on what we do.
If the end goal is just sex, then the answer to the above sign is that we have found someone to maintain the breed.
However, to find someone who can accompany us for the rest of our lives, initial attraction is not the only factor. Two people need to learn more about each other: can they live in harmony when they become husband and wife? Are they reliable? That person can be a good parent. The attraction now becomes the driving force to push you to answer the above questions.
Grebe divers understand this philosophy. They have elaborate courtship rituals ranging from coordinated dances to duets. This is how they determine if the other bird is a good match for a pair. In the world of scuba diving, if you’re out of sync then you’re not the right person.
Principle three: Learn to identify problems quickly
In relation to principle two above, it is important to take the time to spot the bad behaviors that are signs of a poor mate. For example, if someone demands that you spend all your time with them or tries to control you quickly, it is best to run fast.
In the animal kingdom, this behavior can be seen in canes and tiger beetles. The males of these two species try to control the females by following them everywhere. Male canes can follow for up to 70 days. This is behavior that shows possessiveness and insecurity.
With such a malicious personality, you need to be smart to detect it. The faster you identify issues or incompatibilities, the quicker you can move on to the next audience.
Rule four: There is no room for deception in a relationship
Finding a life partner and creating a family is a business that requires serious investment. Although animals are not good at telling the truth in many matters, they rarely lie about love affairs.
Humans, on the other hand, are well-versed in the art of lying to their partners. We may lie about our looks, our personality, our interests, our goals for the approach or even our infidelity, robbing them of their time and energy on the way to finding a mate.
For example, the long-tailed dance fly, the male before mating often gives the female a very large gift of food. Because the gift takes up to 30% of the male’s body weight to make, they are very selective and only prefer large females.
However, some smaller females cheat by swallowing air to temporarily enlarge their bodies. The male, if not detected, runs the risk of squandering his only chance of success.
We dig our own graves every time we choose to be dishonest in a relationship. Whether before or after establishing a relationship, each person needs to be loyal to their own voice to avoid stealing other people’s time.
By following these rules, cupid will help you find the remaining pieces and keep you together longer.